All Blue

As a kid I always dreamed so big.  I felt as if anything I could imagine could become reality.  When I daydreamed of what my life would like look when I was grown up the images that flashed through my mind were as grand as they get.  I remember telling my parents and other people that I looked up to about these dreams.  The responses were mostly a combination of some kind of encouraging phrase to humor me and a dash of realism on top.  I heard things such as "its not easy being our own boss" and "its great to dream but make sure to keep your grades up".   These were good intentioned responses but I always looked at it as a thing grown ups used as a cop out.  Instead of pursuing their passions and dreams they chose to play it safe, and I always felt that a part of them was projecting their fear onto me.

As I've grew up I continued to believe this, that is until I was in my early 20's and I found myself heading down a path that didn't truly call to me.  I think after hearing people say or imply that my dreams were a fool's dream so many times I started to believe it.  In conversations about my dreams I would make claims and excuses about the reasons I would fail, if I failed.  What a terrible mindset to have...  Saying things like this led to my confidence slowly decaying.  This downward projectory continued until a few months back when I was reminded of "something" that resonated so deeply in me years ago, and that resonates even deeper today.  

Pursuing my ambitions is what gives me purpose in life.  My primary ambition have been the same since I was 17 and realized what it is I want to spend my life doing.  Probably unironically, my ambitions are much greater than the average person.  I have the kind of ambitions that draw out chuckles and disregard when I talk about them.  To achieve these ambitions it takes a lot of time and hard work and that work is something I easily get caught up in.  So caught up in fact that I forget why I am working in the first place.  Upon realizing that and becoming intimately familiar with it, I have come to the conclusion that I have to start treating life like a journey, and not focus on the destination.  I know that is a cheesy, overused expression but it is the truth (probably why it is thrown around so much).  Knowing I am on a journey now makes every moment so sweeter, and I feel like each destination I reach is more exciting and meaningful.  Whether or not it is making the destination come faster or slower, I do not know, but I also don't really care.  This leads me to the other half of the "something" I was speaking about earlier.

We all have read or watched series such as Star Wars, Lord Of The Kings, One Pieces, Naruto, etc.  These are favorites of many people.  There is something so infatuating about watching someone go on a journey to accomplish their dreams.  One thing that holds true in all of these stories is that the one pursuing their dream has to put their life on the line.  In these stories that is meant literally.  I think you can put your life on the line for your dreams in the world we reside in as well.  I don't mean literally going out and risking getting shot or killed, but I mean risking things such as getting a secure job right out of college, taking on a little bit of debt, or keeping a job you hate to get a better job later, even if something else is calling out to you.  These are just some examples that come to mind because they relate to my own life.

I have decided to put my life on the line and go into the next leg of my journey.  What is to come next I'm not sure, but if I was what would be the point of going?

 

Justin Don

Justin Don